A few of the highlights of this year include:

• Getting a dog. What a challenge, frustration, learning experience and reward all at the same time sometimes. It has been so much fun sharing life with this creature and learning how my own emotions can have such an impact, for better or worse, on his behavior. Definitely a lesson in self-control and discipline.
• Meditation Retreat. This 10-day Vipassana meditation course I attended has changed my life in a few ways. It has given me tools for creating peace inside myself. It has been a great experience in learning how to control my mind, instead of allowing wandering thoughts to control me. And it has given me hope of being able to explore an even deeper level of spirituality that I have previously never known.
• Dance Classes Online. I created this website to provide online dance classes to newbies. The reason it was significant to me is because I had to spend a pretty penny to make it happen. I am typically a tight wad when it comes to spending money, so the fact that I went in the direction of abundant thinking instead of allowing scarcity thinking to prevent me from achieving a goal, was very liberating for me.
• My relationship. My relationship with my husband continues to challenge and fulfill me on many levels. I have had to look inside myself time and time again to change old, negative thinking and behavioral patterns. It’s so worth it! I look forward to growing much more as an individual.

Now onward…into 2013. I have many ambitions and the first and foremost is:

• Love myself more. Treat myself gently, softly and kindly. Don’t believe any of the negative things I tell myself. Be okay with not being perfect. Totally free to make mistakes and still be a fantastic human being. Give myself a hug every once in awhile.
• Discipline. Specifically in respect to daily exercise and meditation. Beginning tomorrow, I will start a routine of exercise and meditation first thing in the morning and stick to it all week. That’s it! You heard it here. Now I can’t slack off, since you’re holding me accountable.
• Dance more. Since I own a dance school, it’s easy to automatically assume that I dance a lot. Well, that wasn’t the case this year. Or 2011 for that matter. So 2013 will consist of a lot more dancing.
• All Natural. I am currently in the process of switching to all natural toothpaste and makeup. This year will be a year to even go further by replacing other things such as laundry detergent, shampoos, perfumes and household cleaners with all natural products.
• Seek out fulfilling friendships. Currently, I spend most of my time working from my computer at home. This year, I want to engage more personally with others whom I feel a connection with. Preferably those who are on their own spiritual path.
• Less resistant. My resistant side really comes out with my husband. If I feel like he is judging me for something or simply not appreciating me as I feel I deserve, I tend to overreact and become resistant and defensive. This is a great lesson in not caring what others think about me, and staying true to my higher self.
• Punctuality. After reading a book on time management, it gave me a different perspective on being punctual. Written by a highly successful businessman, he said that he is convicted that those who cannot keep their appointments on time, cannot be trusted in other ways either. In his business dealings he has time and time again seen a correlation between respect for others’ time and respect for others’ opinions, property, rights, agreements and contracts. There is a link between punctuality and integrity. Interesting.

That’s it! Looking forward to making this year great. What are your New Year’s ambitions?

Both Dhiraj and I had been wanting to get a dog for awhile. We thought it would be a fun challenge and it would give me company during the day since I work from home. We both grew up around dogs, but never really had to take on the full responsibility of caring for one. Nevertheless, we were confident we could make this work. Little did we know what was in store for us.

Our first week after bringing Spirit home was an emotional roller coaster of frustration, joy, impatience, hope, anxiety, persistence, uncertainty and fear. Two times, after breaking down into tears, I was ready to give him away to the first person who asked. It got to a point where we even posted for sale ads on the internet. I am glad nothing became of that.

We lived through the peeing and pooing in the apartment, the biting attempts, the leash pulling, the out-of-control behavior, the chewing of furniture and complete disobedience. We tried disciplining through fear and physical punishment, thinking we had to show him who was in control. It seemed to make things worse and we began to notice more aggression in him. Which in turn scared and frustrated us even more.

We began to take him to a once-a-week training class. I diligently followed and practiced everything I learned in the course. In addition, I educated myself through YouTube dog training and discipline videos. As a result of the training classes, instructional videos and trial and error, we noticed huge improvements in Spirit’s behavior. He was already a smart dog to begin with, so we had lots of hope. We began using more positive reinforcement instead of punishment. For instance, instead of trying to smack him when he tried to jump on me, I would simply turn away and pay no attention to him until he offered the calm behavior I wanted. When he finally sat down, I would notice him and give him verbal and physical praise. He responded well to this and is continuing to respond very well and extremely fast to training.

I will keep you posted on his progress. I have a new exciting challenge that I am working on with him that I will let you know about soon. Until them, enjoy the videos.

This is Spirit getting a bath and being such a good boy. Dhiraj let him have his favorite towel that he’s had for more than 10 years. He won’t even share the towels he doesn’t like with me, but he will flat out give our dog his favorite towel. Messed up!

 
This is what Spirit does when he’s excited. It can go on sometimes for 15-20 minutes. And then he falls on the floor exhausted afterward.

 
This is one week of accumulated fur. I am surprised my dog has any hair left on his body when he sheds this much.

1. Take a stroll down Via Leonina.
We found this street by accident after exiting the metro station and not knowing which direction to go. I am so glad we got lost, because we got to see where the locals hang out. This street has cute stores and cafes, and best of all…no tourists (except us). Here you will find a delicious dessert and gelato place called Ciuri Ciuri, another tiny restaurant that sells fresh plants and food called Aromaticus, and a few cafes that sell pizza for €5. After paying €8-11 for pizza in Rome, I was happy to know how much the locals pay and how much I was getting ripped off by eating in tourist-infested areas. There are also a few shops on this street where you can buy yummy chocolates, pasta and sauces to take home as souvenirs. This is a great street to walk down to get a feel of what it’s like to be a local in Rome.

2. The Colosseum.
This is a no-brainer, must-see. The Colosseum is iconic and should be on your list of things to do in Rome. Aside from the massive crowds of tourists, illegal street hagglers trying to sell you hats and umbrellas, and disgusting bathrooms…it’s absolutely breathtaking. The history of this ampitheater is over 2000 years old, built in 72 AD. Over 500,000 human beings have been killed inside of it and more than 1,000,000 wild animals. And if you really want to get in the mood, watch the movie Gladiator before visiting. Also, paranormal activity can be captured with your camera at night if you’re into that kind of thing. I talk more about that below.

3. The Roman Forums.
It was amazing to wander through the ancient city of Rome. It can take you anywhere from a couple hours to a full day to wander around. There is so much to see, but it can be boring after awhile if you don’t have a book or guide of some sort to inform you about what you’re looking at. Unfortunately, I didn’t know this until after my trip, but I’ve heard that Rome: The Oxford Archaelogical Guide is an excellent book to bring along.

4. Piazza di Spagna and the Spanish Steps. This is a fun, popular hangout and shopping spot and is always crowded with tourists. You will see many of the high-end luxury stores such as Louie Vuitton, Cartier, Tiffany & Co. and more in this area. We were lucky on our trip to Rome. While wandering through the streets in Piazza di Spagna, there was a dj playing music in the street surrounded by a huge crowd. Upon investigation, we found out that Usain Bolt – currently the fastest man in the world and the man who is predicted to win the 2012 Olympics – was there in the dj booth jammin’ away.

5. Ristorante Sugo. This is a restaurant in the Piazza di Spagna area. I could have included it in the Piazza di Spagna category, but felt like it deserved a category of its own. Why? Because of its pizza! The sauce, the bread, the cheese…was delicious! Try the #13 Chef Pizza on the menu. When traveling, I like to try as many new restaurants as possible, so the fact that I ate here twice in a span of two days says a lot! Address is: Piazza Nicosia 18, 00186 Rome, Italy

6. Trevi Fountain. I found the Trevi Fountain interesting, not just for its elaborate aesthetics, but because it is a fresh water fountain in which the water running through the fountain comes directly from the mountains. The fresh water is not recycled or pumped through the fountain. It just runs in and runs outs with the same pressure as it comes down the mountains.

7. The Vatican. What’s the smallest country in the world? It’s the Vatican City State. It’s 0.44 sq km in size, has a population of less than 1000 (citizens and residents), and is ruled by the Pope. My stay in Rome was only two days so I didn’t have time to take a tour of the Vatican museum, but here is a link with more information if you have time while you’re in Rome.

8. FREE Walking Tours. You can opt for the bus tours with audio to visit the main monuments in Rome, but I found the free walking tours much more fun and interesting. Rome’s historic center is not that large, roughly 1.5 miles (2.5 km) from Piazza di Spagna to the Colosseum so it’s easy to visit most of the major monuments on foot, as they are found in the same area.

If you don’t mind walking, the free walking tours are a great option. You leave only a tip of whatever amount you feel is appropriate at the end of the tour. Reservations are not required. You simply show up at the designated area at the designated time. I did two of these tours while I was there. One guide was excellent and the other guide was okay.

9. Ghost Hunting. I may freak some of you out, but I couldn’t leave this off my list as it was one of my favorite things to do in Rome. Before traveling to Rome, I heard that there was a lot of paranormal activity surrounding the Colosseum and the Roman Forums, so I decided to investigate the matter myself. We went to the Colosseum in the evening around 10pm. Some tourists were still there and street lights were on, but it was dark enough in some areas to snap photos inside the Colosseum to see if we could pick up any orbs. And sure enough we did. Check out the pictures.

Then we headed over to another area of the Roman Forums to the Basilica of Maxentius. From there we stood and looked out northwest at the Justice Hall building. It was lit from the outside so we could see the building fairly well. After just a few minutes of watching, we saw one large black shadow figure cross the front of the building, immediately followed by another three large shadows crossing in front of the building in the opposite direction. We considered the possibility that birds may have flown in front of the lights that lay outside to light the building, but the shadows did not look or move like birds. We were absolutely stunned. We stood there for another 20 minutes and saw one more shadow figure. Then nothing after that.

I have heard that shadow figures are commonly seen throughout the Roman Forums, but was not expecting to see any myself. Was completely surprised that I was able to witness it and recommend you trying it out for yourself. Let me know if you see anything.

Tricks of the Trade:
The Trinita del Monti Church. This church is home to the two angel statues made by the famous artist Bernini in 1669. While interesting to see, the main reason I mention this has nothing to do with Bernini and angels and everything to do with shade. Walking around to visit the main monuments in Rome is fun, but it can be tiring after awhile, especially in the scorching sun. And there are not many places to find a shady retreat other than a restaurant or one of the few crowded parks in the city center.

Rome has hundreds of churches in which you can enter for free. The Trinita del Monti Church is amongst them. You can sit inside in the alter seats and go outside in the back into a grassy garden with plenty of shade. I don’t recommend camping out with your picnic lunch and book, but if you need to get out of the sun for a few minutes without spending any money, this is a great little secret. Just make sure you have covered shoulders and knees or you won’t be allowed to enter.

Useful Resources:
Recommended guide for visiting the ancient ruins/Roman Forums. Rome: Oxford’s Archaelogical Guide.

Rome Transportation:

• Metro/Subway: The metro station is far lesson extensive than the bus system in Rome, but much simpler to master for short-term visitors. The metro lines circle the historic city center. If you need transportation in the middle of the city center, you best option is to walk or take the local bus.
• Bus System: For transportation inside or outside the city center, the bus system is convenient and extensive with hundreds of bus lines running from 5:30am until midnight.
• Taxi: Look for the official metered white or sometimes yellow taxis. Make sure your taxi is metered rather than an arranged price.
• Shuttle Bus To/From Airport: Terravision is a shuttle bus that takes you to and from the airport for just € 4.00-8.00.

Paris

• FREE Guided Walking Tour. We went on two walking tours that last day we were in Paris and wish we would have done it sooner. The tour guide was excellent and made it so fun and interesting. I recommend you do this at the beginning of your trip. We used a company called Discover Walks. You pay only a tip at the end of the tour of whatever amount you choose. You don’t need to make reservations of any kind. Simply show up at the designated time and area.

 

• The Catacombs. In the 18th century, the city of Paris was running out of space to bury its dead. Paris had an underground tunnel system at the time and so they began using it as an underground ossuary. It contains the remains of nearly 6 million humans. While there, we took pictures in some of the darker areas and were able to capture orbs. Absolutely fascinating! It’s only €6 to enter, but plan on waiting in line for at least an hour. Worth the wait!

 

• The Eiffel Tour. This is one of the most obvious things to do in Paris, but well worth it. We climbed the stairs to the first and second platform and found the signs that talked about Gustave Eiffel, the architect of the Eiffel Tower, to be quite interesting. We tried to reserve a spot in one of the restaurants, but everything was booked. Make sure to reserve in advance of your trip, otherwise you will not be able to dine on the Eiffel Tower.

 

• Latin Quarter. This is a fun, lively area to wander around. Lots of shop, restaurants and entertaining street performers. It’s situated on the left bank of the Seine river and is home to many universities and colleges including the Sorbonne. Make sure to stop by Amorino to get a delicious gelato. It is an extremely popular place, so be prepared to wait a few minutes in line.

 

• Notre Dame Cathedral. Avoid waiting in line to get into the Notre Dame Cathedral by planning your visit around a time when there is a mass or service. You can find a schedule here. Unless you plan to visit the towers and crypt, entrance to the cathedral is free.

 

• Musee du Louvre. This is another one of the obvious things to do in Paris. The Louvre is situated on the right bank of the Seine river and is the most visited art museum in the entire world and contains famous collections of art such as the Mona Lisa.

 

• Love Locks. If you’re traveling with a partner or lover, it’s a fun idea to visit the Pont des Arts or the Pont de l’Archevêché. Couples write their names on padlocks, lock it to the bridge and throw the key into the Seine river as a symbol of their undying love. The only way to break the seal of your love is to find the key to unlock the lock, which is nearly impossible. When I visited the Pont des Arts, there was a person selling padlocks on the bridge. How true is your love?

 

• Hop On Hop Off Bus Tour. The major sites and monuments to see in Paris are spread out and are not within walking distance. The L-Open Hop On Hop Off Bus Tour has 4 different lines and stops at more than 50 major attractions. I recommend the €34 two-day pass, as it’s almost impossible to see everything in just one day.

• La Sagrada Familia. This is a MUST! The architecture in Spain is very unique to begin with, but La Sagrada Familia tops the list. Designed by the famous architect Antoni Gaudi, the building of the cathedral first in 1882 and is still incomplete today. The outside of the cathedral is fabulous and I recommend paying to go inside also. If you have time, take a stroll up Avenue de Gaudi from La Sagrada Familia to the Hospital de Sant Pau. Or if taking the metro, you can get off on the Hospital de Sant Pau stop first and then walk down Avendue de Gaudi to see La Sagrada Familia.

 

• Beach. If you’re traveling to Barcelona during the warm weather months, make a trip to the beach. It’s beautiful. We went to the Platja Mar Bella area, but the beach extends all the way down the coast line. A warning to the conservatives out there, many women are topless on the beach. It’s not a big deal there and no one seemed to really pay much attention to it…except for us Americans. Hehe.

 

• Guell Park. Another fantastic work of art by Gaudi. It’s about a 10-minute uphill walk to get to the park. Once you’re there, you feel like entering a huge gingerbread house. Here you will also find Gaudi’s famous mosaic dragon. It is the most unique park I have ever encountered and it offers a great view of the city of Barcelona.

 

• La Rambla. One of the most popular streets in Barcelona. It is filled with tourists and a few locals. This street stretches for almost a mile and has shops, restaurants, gelato, souvenirs and street performers. It also has plenty of access to local buses and the metro station. It’s a fun area to hang out, just watch out for pick pockets. I personally didn’t have any bad experiences, but have heard it happens a lot there.

 

• Gothic Quarter. The Gothic Quarter was the old city center of Barcelona. Yes, it’s completely tourist-infested, but another must see. I absolutely loved this area. The narrow streets open up into squares, or placas, and many of the buildings date back to the Medieval times. I felt like there was a little surprise around every corner…a gorgeous cathedral here, temple ruins there. I had heard there was a holographic museum in the Gothic Quarters, but it closed down 3 years ago. It is still advertised online as though it’s open, but it’s not.

 

• Take a stroll down Passieg de Gracia.This is the most expensive street in Barcelona, with the most important shopping and business areas. You will also find two fantastic buildings by the famous architect Gaudi (same guy who designed La Sagrada Familia), the Casa Batllo and Casa Mila. I didn’t go inside either of them, but a stroll down the Passieg de Gracia to see them is definitely worth it.

 

• Rent A Moto. If you are adventurous and want to explore the city on your own, rent a moto. It’s only around €20-25 for the entire day.

 

• Bus Tour. There’s so much to see and do in Barcelona. It’s a good idea to take the bus tour for one day and discover all it has to offer. We went on the one-day tour with Bus Turistic, which cost €24 per person.

 

• The Magic Fountain. I was a little disappointed in the fountain’s display show to music, but that’s because I had high expectations. My dad does an outrageous light show at our home for Christmas that is synchronized so well to music that we have neighbors and strangers lining up in our driveway to watch it every year. However, the fountain itself is gorgeous and it is built on the steps of the National Palace of Barcelona which is breathtaking. Make sure to check the times the fountain is playing before your trip, as it only plays on scheduled days and times that vary depending on the time of year.
]]> http://sheenajean.com/top-ten-things-to-do-in-barcelona-spain/feed/ 0 http://sheenajean.com/my-vipassana-meditation-experience/ http://sheenajean.com/my-vipassana-meditation-experience/#comments Tue, 30 Oct 2012 18:45:54 +0000 Sheena Jean http://sheenajean.com/?p=858


vipassana meditation


The 10-day Vipassana meditation retreat was my first experience doing anything like this. Before going, I had very little experience meditating. And the times I attempted to meditate, I found myself waking up from a nice nap two hours later. My point is, you don’t need ANY meditation experience in order to survive this course. Just follow the rules of the course, remain persistent and you are pretty much set for success.

Upon arrival, I left my books and notepad in the car, because no reading or writing is allowed, and I checked in my cell phone at the registration desk. I already knew that I would be as isolated as possible and was prepared to hang out with just me, myself and I for the following ten days.

I didn’t have high expectations of what I would get out of the course. I was open to seeing what would happen, but I was hoping to have an out-of-body experience, as that has been something I have been trying to do – halfheartedly, I will admit – for the last few months.

The “noble silence” began the first night of the course after the orientation. From that point on, we weren’t allowed to make eye contact, physical contact or talk to anyone except the teachers for the next ten days. This is also when we had to begin following the five precepts that make up what is called samedi or living a life of morality. Without following the five precepts, you can’t really have much success with the meditation technique because you will be contradicting yourself every step of the way.

1. Abstain from killing any being;
2. Abstain from stealing;
3. Abstain from all sexual activity;
4. Abstain from telling lies;
5. Abstain from all intoxicants.

The course schedule is quite intense, waking up at roughly 4am each day and meditating for ten hours. My first four days were extremely rough simply because I couldn’t find a comfortable sitting position for meditation. That’s the first thing I would recommend you do is find a comfortable position because you are going to be doing a lot of sitting. Finally, on the fourth day I asked the assistant teacher for a cushion with a back. Phew! My discomfort vanished and I felt like I could finally focus on the meditation instead of the pain.

The entire meditation consisted of three different techniques, taught step-by-step throughout the duration of the course. Every evening there is a discourse in the meditation hall teaching the meditation technique. This was the highlight of my day, as I found Goenka, the teacher, to be quite funny and the only intellectual stimulation of my entire day.

The first three days of the course were focused on Anapana which is becoming aware of your breath. This technique instructs you to only observe your breath and the sensations of the breath without trying to control or regulate it in any way. You first focus your attention on a small triangular area from the top of the nose to the nostrils and eventually narrow the area to just the area beneath your nostrils and above your upper lip. By focusing on small areas, you are sharpening your mind and focus in preparation for Vipassana, which begins on the fourth day.

Vipassana is insight meditation. You focus on the sensations of different body parts without reacting to them, no matter how pleasant or unpleasant they may be. Your job is to simply observe the sensations without identifying with or attaching to them and allow them to wither away on their own time schedule. Vipassana is very much observing whatever is happening at any given moment, without trying to control or exert force upon the situation. It is in accordance with Dhamma, the universal law of nature, that regards all things as impermanent and in a constant state of change. Because every thing continues to change from moment to moment, one should not attach or identify with anything. Because the very thing or thought we attach to will soon change. It is a universal law that applies to everything. Similar to the law of gravity.

When forming attachment to any sensation or thought, we develop craving when it’s a positive thought or feeling and revoltion when it’s a negative thought or feeling. Both craving and revoltion are forms of attachment and will eventually lead to misery. When observing your body sensations during meditation, one should not crave the pleasant sensations or resist the negative sensations. Just observe. Patiently and persistently. Until the sensation diminishes.

By becoming aware of and not reacting to the sensations of your body, you are changing the reactive habit patterns of your subconscious mind at the deepest level. At first, I didn’t quite understand how observing my body sensations was going to improve my life. But by the sixth day it finally clicked for me.

I was lying in bed one night, my chest filled with tension and negative emotion. I could actually feel the biochemical reactions developing in the area, which felt a bit like acid. That can’t be good. Anyhow, I took what I was learning with the body sensations and I applied it to these tension balls I felt in my chest. I closed my eyes and put my awareness on the area and moved up and down. Every time I ran into a tension ball, I would stop and observe it, without any judgment or reaction, and wait and see how long it took before it dissipated and melted away. After about 5-10 seconds, the tension would fade. I continued to do this about 30 times and finally cleared the tension from my entire chest. It was amazing!

I felt at complete peace and completely clear. I haven’t felt that way in a very long time. I slept wonderful that night and the next day I still had that peace inside of me. It lasted for most of the day. I have never experienced anything like this before. On the eighth day of the course, I had built up more tension in my chest and applied the same technique. Again it worked and I felt peaceful again. Astounding!

On the ninth day, we learned the last part of the meditation called the Metapana. This is focusing your thoughts on love, kindness and peace toward all beings and toward yourself. It was a great way to end the course.

Overall, I felt the course was life-transforming for me. To be so peaceful inside is something I have never felt for such long stretches of time. I don’t remember the last time I had an entire day that was completely worry-free, which is kind of insane when I think about how much negativity I was harvesting inside of me. Vipassana also helped me become more objective and observant of my thoughts and feelings and realize that they are impermanent so there is no need to take them too seriously. It’s so simple, but it works!

I strongly recommend this course to everyone. When put into practice, Vipassana works. I recommend everyone try it and see for yourself. I would definitely do it again. Click here to find a course near you.

]]> http://sheenajean.com/my-vipassana-meditation-experience/feed/ 1 http://sheenajean.com/how-to-overcome-shyness-and-be-more-outgoing/ http://sheenajean.com/how-to-overcome-shyness-and-be-more-outgoing/#comments Wed, 28 Mar 2012 15:47:21 +0000 Sheena Jean http://sheenajean.com/?p=782  
My personal story..

People who know me now would never guess how shy I used to be. I own my own business, speak in front of groups of people all the time and make friends easily. This wasn’t always the case though.

In elementary school, I would shy away from the rest of my classmates in school and sit in the corner of the classroom sucking my thumb. I remember running off the stage during a school performance. I wouldn’t even talk to extended relatives at my own family reunions.

And it didn’t stop there. This shyness followed me all the way into high school and college. I would not take any classes that involved oral speeches, even if it was a class I was really interested in taking. I would sweat profusely in social situations and eat lunches by myself. I couldn’t even return a store item that I didn’t want without anxiety. I would beg my mom to do it for me. For those who have never experienced this kind of shyness, it’s hard to believe that a simple “hello” to a passerby was an event big enough to cause anxiety.

It really sucked!

And if you are shy, I bet you are thinking the same thing. This really sucks!

Shyness is a lack of belief and trust in yourself. It’s living in fear that you are not good or capable enough. It’s living in a self-conscious bubble of worry about how others perceive you. You may be afraid of failure or success and your ability to handle either situation. There is nothing fun about living in a self-imposed prison of inhibition, supression and restraint often accompanied by a dull, yet constant, ache in your gut symbolizing the pain and frustration of knowing you are so much more than what you are living.

But here’s the good news. Even with my extreme case of shyness, I was able to change. And so can you. It is simple, but requires work and effort. A shift in your thinking and perception of yourself must occur. It’s a change worth making.

Having a severe case of shyness for many years lead me to question myself and my thinking. The pain of not living what I knew, deep inside, I was capable of became so intense that I couldn’t no longer stand to be shy. Every lost opportunity to state my opinion or say what was on my mind created an unbearable frustration inside of me that lead me to change. You could accurately say that the pain of not speaking up became greater than the fear of saying what was on my mind and looking like a fool. So, as fearful as I was at times, I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and changes started happening for my life.

I’ve had many experiences in my life that contributed to my evolution and growth from an extremely shy girl into an outgoing, confident and less fearful human being. However, my college years were a pivotal time in my life in which I tested myself and my capacity for handling new situations. Three of these experiences have really shaped who I am today.

The first significant thing that happened during college was auditioning for the ballroom dance team. For starters, this was my first audition ever and I was terrified. So terrified that I made my mom come with me (did I mention this was my first year of college?). I ended up making the team and was excited beyond belief, yet anxious. This meant social interaction.

Social situations aroused immense anxiety in me causing my underarms and palms to sweat profusely. I had to plan my clothing accordingly, wearing shirts made of material that wouldn’t reveal my underarm sweat stains. The thought of a guy holding me in dance position made me extremely anxious, which caused more sweating.

I didn’t want this to stop me from participating in the dance group, so I went to the doctor and he gave me an antiperspirant that was supposed to dry out my underarms. I was desperate for this solution to work and put my full faith behind it. To a degree it did help dry out my underarms. It also made them itch like crazy. More than anything, it allowed me to put my faith in something outside of my control. I simply relied on the antipersirant to do its job and stopped worrying about my sweating. And it worked! I eventually stopped sweating altogether.

My ballroom dance team experience gave me opportunities to overcome my shyness. I got opportunities to travel and perform with my group, make many new friends and interact socially. The more I did it, the more natural it became. Had I chickened out and not gone to the audition that I was so terrified of, I would have remained with that dull ache of frustration in my gut, wondering when my life was going to start.

The second thing I did during college that had a huge impact in my evolution was work as a waitress. For several months, any time a new table of customers was seated in my section, I would get extremely nervous to approach them. I had to give myself pep talks in order to work up the nerve to walk up to the table and greet them.

I was so bad at speaking with people that at one point in time, one of the regular customers that frequented the restaurant, saw me speaking with one of my tables of customers. He pulled me aside to give me some pointers. I was offended and hurt at the time, but now see that he only meant to help me, even if his advice was unsolicited.

Eventually, I learned how to relax and be at ease when talking to new customers and strangers. No longer did I dread approaching a new table of customers.

The final pivotal experience in college helped build my confidence in my own abilities. Being a part of the ballroom dance team gave me an opportunity to learn and acquire new skills and dance techniques. I had many chances to compete against others and often times would win. This external validation helped me feel confident in my own abilities and skills and lead to a teaching position at the university.

That first teaching gig gave me confidence to seek out even more teaching opportunities at gyms, schools, recreation centers and local dance studios. It gave me invaluable experience speaking in front of groups of people, which, just a few years earlier, I was absolutely terrified to do.

Every day is a learning and growing experience if you’ll allow it to be. While you’re situation may or may not be as extreme as mine was, here a some tips that can help you if shyness jades your life.

Take action and reward yourself – Getting started can be the hardest part. Just take action. Any action. The right path will reveal itself to you if you put yourself out there. Don’t get caught up with the outcome of the action, but instead focus on the fact that you got out of your comfort zone. Be happy about that and reward yourself. You deserve it.

Develop your skills and talents – Being good at something gives you a sense of confidence. Learning and mastering a new skill or developing a talent that you already have will give you confidence in your own abilities.

Get comfortable talking to people – Say hi or smile at a stranger today. Compliment the clerk at the bank or cashier at the grocery store. If you normally avoid phone calls, answer the phone and talk to the person. The more you talk, the more comfortable you will become speaking with others.

Change your negative self-talk – Be aware of your thoughts. The reason you are shy in the first place is because you tell yourself that you are. Then you play out your life according to those thoughts. Next time you are tense about approaching that cute girl or taking that Salsa class, turn that thought into the exact opposite. You are outgoing, fun and relaxed and have no problem approaching cute girls. You may not be a dancer, but you would have fun and are capable of learning new steps. Then take action!

Get out of your head – Shy people worry excessively about how they are perceived by others. This is because the focus is all on YOU. Take your focus off of yourself and put it on something or someone else. For instance, if speaking with another person, instead of worrying about saying the rights things or how smart you sound, simply put your attention and focus on what the other person is saying. By removing the pressure of having to “perform”, you open yourself up to much more natural and flowing conversation.

Trust your inner knowing – We all are born with inner knowing and guidance, some call it intuition. We may have learned to ignore it or not trust it as we have grown up in this society, but it’s still there. It’s up to you to get back in touch with your inner world and begin trusting yourself.

Don’t worry about the opinion of others – Your time is much better spent doing something productive than it is worrying about what another person thinks of you. Everyone has their opinions and judgments and it has much less to do with you than it has to do with them. Don’t waste energy worrying about what other people are doing or saying.

]]> http://sheenajean.com/how-to-overcome-shyness-and-be-more-outgoing/feed/ 0 http://sheenajean.com/how-to-start-a-website/ http://sheenajean.com/how-to-start-a-website/#comments Fri, 02 Mar 2012 13:22:00 +0000 Sheena Jean http://sheenajean.com/?p=402 The first thing you will need to do is get your blog set up. There are free blog services, but I recommend you actually buy your own domain name and web hosting. It makes your blog look more like a professional website instead of just a blog. Let’s jump in:

There are four main things you need:

1. Domain Name – Namecheap
2. Webhosting – Hostgator
3. Merchant Account – Paypal
4. Email Autoresponder – Aweber

 
DOMAIN NAME
Your domain name is your “address” in which people can find you on the internet. My domain name is www.sheenajean.com. I used my own name because I want my blog to be about me, my life and my business. There are a couple things to keep in mind when choosing your domain name:

1. Keep it short, simple and easy to remember.
2. If you must go with a long domain name, put dashes in between the words. This will not affect your seo or page ranking negatively.
3. If you don’t use your own name as your domain name, use descriptive keywords that pertain to your blog.
4. Avoid using acronyms. They are difficult to remember.
5. Avoid using numbers. They can be easily confused between the written and numerical version.

 
I use Namecheap to purchase my domains. They always have a coupon code you can use to get a small discount. Just do a google search. You can expect to pay about $10 to register your domain name. Then you will have to renew it each year for the same amount. They also offer web hosting, but I like to keep my hosting account separate from where I buy my domain name. This gives me more control if I ever wanted to switch hosts for any reason.
 
WEB HOSTING
Now that you have your domain name, you will need web hosting. This makes your domain accessible on the internet. I personally use Hostgator and have been very pleased with my experience. They offer 24/7 customer support, plenty of storage space and data transfer (bandwidth usage), are affordable, offer tools and resources that you will need as an online entreprenuer, have a Website builder along with website templates you can use, and offer an amazing tool called Fantastico that allows you to install software quickly and easily.

In choosing your hosting plan, one of the main considerations will be how many websites you plan to have? I currently have a few different websites so I went with the Baby plan because it offers more storage and unlimited websites. If you plan to have only one website ever, then you can go with a small hosting plan. Evaluate your specific needs, choose the plan that fits your criteria and go for it! You can expect to pay no more than $7 p/month.

Once you’ve purchased your domain name and web hosting, then it’s time to actually set your site up. I have only ever used WordPress for my sites and absolutely love it. If you are clueless about how to do this, then I have two options for you:

1. Watch this great video tutorial and do it yourself.
2. Check out Fiverr and find someone to do it for you for only $5.

 
Once your website is up and running, there are a few necessary plugins that you want to install right away. These include:

• Google Analytics (You must sign up for a Google Analytics account)
• All In One SEO (helps your blog rank higher with search engines)
• XML Sitemap (will help get your blog pages indexed by Google)

 
You can add plugins as needed as you go along, but this is good enough to get you rolling. Now the other thing I do is go to my dashboard in WordPress. Click on Settings –> Permalinks –> Custom Structure and type in:

/%postname%/

This make your post titles show up in the url instead of a bunch of random numbers, which helps your SEO.

Phew. We are almost done. Now you will need to choose a theme you like. You can use the default theme that WordPress gives you or you can search for a new theme. There are plenty of free ones out there to choose from. I chose a 3-column theme because I plan to use Google Adsense in the sidebars. You don’t need anything fancy right now. The most important thing is to get your website up and running so you can start making money.

If you’re new to WordPress, you will need to take some time and get familiar with the software. Don’t be scared or overwhelmed. There’s a learning curve, but focus on enjoying the fact that you are learning some new sh*t that is going to be very valuable to you in the future.

Okay, now we have our domain, our hosting, our website set up with a nice theme and plugins installed. Next you will need to get a payment system set up.
 
MERCHANT ACCOUNT
This is how you will collect payments or donations from your customers. My top choice is PayPal due to the fact that it’s free.
 
EMAIL AUTORESPONDER
Soon, we will work on driving traffic to our website. We want to make sure that when readers land on our website we have a way to collect their email address to follow up with them in the future whenever we have products to share. You can put a form on your website for readers to sign up on, which then stores their information in a database that you can automate a series of followup email messages. The service I use to do this is Aweber. It is the best autoresponder tool that I know of. It will cost you about $19 p/month.
 
Take a deep breath because you are done!
 
 
 
Read more about me here.
 

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